Finding Purpose and Joy as a Single Christian Woman on Life's Journey

At 18, when I crafted my ambitious life plan, I didn't envision being single in my mid-30s. I've experienced all the highs and lows of being a single Christian woman, pondering and anticipating the arrival of a man of God to sweep me off my feet.

Whether you've just entered the single life or have been single for quite a while, there are moments when fear, uncertainty, and even anger about life's circumstances can consume us. Then, a well-intentioned church lady might show up and tell you, "the one God has for you will appear when you least expect it" (which isn't helpful at all).

I'm here to let you know that I truly understand what you're going through, as I'm experiencing it alongside you. For over 15 years, I've been praying for God to bring me my own prince charming who loves Jesus, and I've felt every emotion along this journey. I want to offer you encouragement—not with the usual clichés that married Christian women often share about being single (maybe I'll write a whole post on that another time). Instead, I want to inspire you to thrive during your single years, maintaining hope while also deepening your relationship with Jesus.

Embracing Singleness as a Christian Woman

I'm sure you've heard it before... being a single Christian woman doesn't have to be a drag. In fact, it shouldn’t be.

I know. It’s easy to say and not so easy to live. I regret to say that I have spent the majority of my single years surviving instead of truly thriving.

There are so many things we can be doing as single Christian women to grow and flourish spiritually, relationally, and even intellectually. It reminds me of what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians,

There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:34

Single women have many more opportunities to serve the Lord because they do not have the added responsibilities of a husband and family. It's not that being married is a burden, but the duties are simply different.

I wish I had spent more time digging into the Word of God and drawing closer to Jesus instead of spending so much time lamenting over my relationship status and how much pee is in the Christian dating pool. :D

Reflecting on my years of singleness, I realize that the energy I devoted to worrying about my love life could have been better spent deepening my understanding of scripture and nurturing my relationship with Christ. There is a wealth of wisdom and guidance to be found in the Bible that can shape one's character and purpose.

In retrospect, I see that immersing myself in prayer and community worship could have provided a sense of fulfillment and joy that I sought in romantic relationships. Instead of focusing on the often frustrating dynamics of dating within the Christian community, I could have embraced the opportunity to grow spiritually, cultivate meaningful friendships, and serve those around me.

Thankfully, it's never too late to get things in order and gain perspective on life. Do I still want marriage and a family? Absolutely. However, I will never regret the time I've spent with my Heavenly Father and developing my character and skills.

Cultivating a Strong Relationship with God

Every time you watch a YouTube video on being single or read a blog post, you'll likely encounter the popular phrase "you can't find fulfillment in a boyfriend or husband".

I recall hearing and reading this repeatedly and thinking, "yeah, yeah, I get it, but it doesn't change how I feel". Indeed, it doesn't alleviate the disappointment or the overall sense of lacking purpose in life. But in truth, isn't that the core issue? Isn't the real problem that my disappointment and sense of purpose revolve around whether or not I'm in a relationship with Prince Charming?

I had to truly examine myself here. I remember one time when I was probably in my very early 20s, my dad asked me a simple question that has stuck with me all these years. It's something I often go back too when I feel discouraged.

If God never gives you a husband, will you still love him?

I'll be totally honest with you. When he initially asked me that question, I wasn't sure how to respond. The typical Christian response would be, "Yes, I will still love him," but in truth, I desired a husband so much that I would genuinely feel upset with God if it didn't happen, as if it were His fault.

I even with through a period where I realized I was angry with God because of my singleness. I blamed Him... why wouldn't he just let me be like Paul and have no desire for marriage instead of torturing me by withholding it from me? It felt like a cruel joke that God was playing on me.

It wasn't until I began to understand my identity in Christ and truly grasp His character that I learned to say, "yes, I will still love Him." This journey took many years and tears. It required countless hours of seeking His presence and truly understanding His greater purpose for me.

I didn't need to attend numerous church conferences and Bible studies (though there's nothing wrong with them). What I needed was to spend time with Him, get to know Him, listen to His heart, and allow Him to transform mine.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

The truths that I've learned about being a single Christian woman are what I desire to share with you. I've found so much freedom in my singleness because of my identity in Christ and I want to share that with other women. In Hebrews 10, we're instructed,

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Hebrews 10:24

That is the goal of Word Inspired Woman: to provoke other single Christian women to love and good works. This initiative is not about encouraging women to remain single, but rather about empowering them to embrace this season of their lives with purpose, joy, and fulfillment until Prince Charming enters the scene. The essence of this mission lies in fostering a deep understanding of our identity in Christ Jesus, which serves as the foundation for our spiritual growth and personal development.

"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her." – C. S. Lewis.